Jealous Heffa's

I didn’t realize it would be such a challenge just to put some words to paper (okay computer) every once in a while. Anyway let me see if I can catch up. It may be long or the rest may wait til another day.

Anyway, I meant to vent about last Thursday at the El Segundo. Boy I was hot like fish grease – AFTER I HAD A CHANCE TO MARINATE ON IT. So we expected to be busy after the Tasting Table article came out Wednesday. And I told you about how Neil’s twitter following more than doubled by the end of the day. Well honey let me tell you...

Usually it takes maybe an hour or so before they get busy. This particular day was not the case. When I called to check in they were already in full swing. I had asked my cousin earlier that day to help out. Boy was I grateful for that.

I got there about my usual time after work. I could not believe our line was as long as it was and people were still coming. My cousin, Ernae looked flustered taking orders and Neil and Glenn couldn’t get the food out fast enough. So I jumped right in. I sliced my first brisket, ya’ll. I kept telling the customers to take pictures because I didn’t know when they would see anything like this again.

Me, Neil and Glenn always act silly when we’re together and the crowd seems to love it. Ernae didn’t find it quite so funny. I told her to lighten up and smile she told me that she had to be nice to the crowd, not to me. A couple of our regulars tried to jump the line by shouting the orders directly to Neil. Cousin wasn’t having that. Neil gave him his first anyway. Nae threatened to walk off at least twice, we asked her not to.

So the evening progresses on and we’re down to our last few scraps of meat and a few customers. One was a female in the military. I don’t know which branch. Neil gave her a taste while she was standing in line and we told her anything she got was $7. There wasn’t much to choose from but she said give me whatever you have. As Neil and Glenn continue to prepare food for a family with small children, this military female nibbled her food and licked her fingers waiting to see if anything was left. She took the last of the burnt ends from the cutting board. The only thing left in the way of meat was 1½ sausage links. There was a woman with the family mentioned earlier that couldn’t decide what she wanted. After tasting from her party she came back and got the last sausage and a half.

So moving on… Neil goes to pay our market fee and they’re packing up. The market manager’s assistant comes and tells me that she wants to see the lady. He said he didn’t know which but she wanted to see her. Since I was the only woman that she dealt with I went over. Do you know what she told me? The other vendors were complaining that we were STEALING THEIR CUSTOMERS. They claimed that because we offered everything the customers weren’t visiting the other booths. By everything they meant the cupcakes and mac and cheese we served that day. Now desserts I can understand because they have lady with a dessert booth. But we only sold 11 cupcakes the whole time we were there. Also how in the hell does mac and cheese stop the sale of crepes, Chinese food kettle corn and the like? The way she put it was that we keep adding something new to the menu. When I gave her the menu I said we do side dishes, I didn’t specify what they were. Again she was right about the cupcakes but she can kiss my whole @$$ about the macaroni and cheese.

While I was there speaking with her I was calm and didn’t think much of it but the closer I got to my car the hotter I got. I explained the situation to everyone and we all got fired up. We had people come from Thousand Oaks and Diamond Bar and such for OUR barbecue. Neil and I put ourselves out there to promote our business. I’m a member of the El Segundo Chamber of Commerce. I didn’t see any of them at the last mixer. So please tell me how you’re promoting your business.

I plan to print out Bigmista’s reviews from various sources as well as the email Neil received from the food editor of the Los Angeles Times and tell them all to blow it out their collective @$$es. Yes I’m still a little mad. What will be there excuse when we’re not selling cupcakes and mc this week?

Oh and Neil informed me that Britt’s Barbecue won’t come to El Segundo unless we leave. This is information Neil got from the market manager. I’m like what the hell? We’re only there for four hours a week. What harm could we possibly do to your business if your food is good? There are restaurants all around us, right behind us as a matter of fact, that are open during the market. So he’s another you can add to the a-kiss list because we’re not leaving any time soon.

Okay this has gone on long enough. I will tell you guys about last Saturday hopefully before this Saturday gets here.

SMOOCHES

Where I Went Wrong

Well it's Saturday morning. Morgan is still sleep and I hear the van outside rumbling getting ready to take Neil to the Watts Farmer's Market. The house is quiet which is rare when everyone is awake and home. I used to go with them but since Watts is slow, two people can handle it.

My mom used to watch Morgan for me on Saturday but I got her and my cousin selling Bigmista desserts at the Watts market now, so it's just me and Morgan. Most people try to sleep in on Saturday morning. I get up after everyone is gone and enjoy the peace and quit before Ms. Morgan shows her happy face. And it's because of this peace and quiet that I can now sit and type.

For those of you who don't know the meaning of the word widow used in this context it means my husband gives his life for all things bbq. My descent into this world started soon after our marriage in 2004. Before that it was the computer. She's still his other woman but comes up way short now.

But even before we were married but after we were living together I tried to convince Neil to go to culinary school. He just has a natural knack for food. He was working from home as a web designer so it was the perfect opportunity, since most the classes were during the day. Needless to say he didn't listen and went to school to get his CCNA. He was doing quite well, but I can’t remember the reason, he stopped going after needing only one class to finish. I forgot to mention that my husband is very book smart as well. He was heavily recruited out of high school because of his football AND academic skills.

Okay, I’m back I will try not to digress to much but our past ties into so many things we do now that Neil and I refer to it often. Anywho Neil is a fabulous cook all the way around. For our first date it fixed me jambalaya with a cucumber and tomato salad. We never parted much after that. He even wrote a cookbook titled Secret Sex Recipes to Get You Laid. I will tell you more about that later. He started hanging out on this website called the BBQ-Brethren. When Neil posted how he cooked ribs they literally laughed at him for days. If he were an emotional man he would have cried from all the flack he took.

After posting, reading and becoming friends with a few of the guys on the site Neil decided he wanted a smoker. At that time we lived in a two bedroom apartment, UPSTAIRS, with a balcony. Me being the wife I am said sure. I didn’t know he was going to drag me around to look at the darn things. Neil is one of the few men who like to shop as long as it’s for MANLY things. He finally settled on a char griller minus the woodbox. I was the family handyman but Neil decided he wanted to be the one to put this thing together since it was his.

And so it began.